It sure seems like getting to bed at our house is becoming a big production lately. Sometimes I wonder if there’s a hidden camera in our bedroom. We seem to be living some kind of sit com reality show.
Usually, at about 10:00, Mr. Taleteller takes the girls out for thier last powder room break of the night. They all come back inside and get their bedtime treat. We watch the news and maybe the beginning of the Tonight Show, then we start heading to bed. If I’m lucky, my husband waits for me to get done using the bathroom before I head into the bedroom and crawl under the covers. If not, I usually have to convince Morgan or Bunny to move over so I can get in bed.
So, I get in bed and start reading. Mr. Taleteller moves Lilac’s favorite dog bed into the bedroom and fluffs it up in her spot. Then he climbs into bed, and Morgan jumps up there, does a brief patrol to make sure we’ve both gotten into bed safely and then flops down near the foot of the bed. Soon Bunny will appear, and she’ll have to be escorted back up to the top of the bed by her personal bodyguard, Morgan. She will stand and stare at us, then let out a little huff and begin pawing at the quilts. I’ll lift one edge of my quilt and she’ll climb underneath it and lay down against me, curled up for the night. After a bit of reading, I’ll get tired, put the nook down and turn off the light.
I’ll have a brief wrestling match with Bunny because when I turn over to turn off the light, she’ll roll over into my spot or she’ll be laying against me so hard that it’s causing my back and leg to go numb. Being the wonderful husband that he is, Mr. Taleteller will then get involved and move Bunny over, even though she has managed to increase her weight to five hundred pounds simply by closing her eyes. She will let out a yelp or a small Greyhound Scream of Death, Morgan will be alerted and come to be sure we aren’t doing something to her Bunny. After that problem is solved, we both curl up comfortably and start to drift off.
This is Lilac’s cue to begin barking. I am not talking about normal barking here, either. When she gets started, it’s like a ten thousand decibal seal barking in the bedroom.
Mr Taleteller: Oh no!
Me: (whispering) Be quiet! If she hears you, she’ll just get worse!
Mr. Taleteller: You’re kidding, right? She’s deaf! She can’t hear anything!
Me: She can hear the rattle of the treat jar!
Mr. Taleteller: I’ve been scammed!
Me: Of course you have!
Lilac: Dammit! Get up and fetch me something, you do nothings!
So, one of us gets up to see what the old lady wants. After that mystery is solved, we begin to drift off to sleep again. Soon, we’re awake again.
Morgan: I don’t want to disturb you, but I think you forgot to pet me good night.
Me: I did pet you! Don’t step on Bunny!
Morgan: Oh, is she under there? Bunny, are you okay?
Me: GO TO SLEEP!
Morgan: I’ll just be going to sleep now!
Thank goodness Blueberry goes to sleep and stays wherever she started out. If only they could all take lessons from her. Is it possible that we’re living in a sit com and nobody told us?
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