You know, sometimes turnabout is fair play, and you just have to laugh about it. This week, we saw a little of that, and it just goes to show that sometimes our dogs are a lot smarter than we give them credit for. That, or humans aren’t as smart as we give them credit for.
The other night started out the same way so many of them do here. The humans were unwinding from work, the dogs had been out and fed and we were settling in for a quiet night at home. Of course, the Greyhounds had made themselves very comfortable on the couch, as is often their wont. It was all the picture of domestic bliss, save one thing. One of the humans, we’ll call him Mr. Taleteller, decided he wanted to lay down on the couch and watch television. Alas, there was no room left for a human, especially one who wanted to lay down and hog the couch.
So, the human did what any desperate Greyhound owner does. He walked to the kitchen and rattled the cookie jar. Now Bunny is a seasoned couch war veteran, but Flattery can still make rookie mistakes. When the cookie jar rattled, Bunny managed to lift her head and cast a Queen of Sheba look of disdain at the kitchen, then put her head back down and waited for her servant to serve her treat to her on the couch. Flattery, however, was dancing about in the kitchen, drooling a little as she got excited about a “just because” treat.
By the time she was done cleaning up the crumbs in the kitchen, Mr. Taleteller was curled up on the couch under a fuzzy blanket with Bunny stretched out on the other end. There was no room for the princess in training. To her credit, she did try going over to lay on a dog bed, but it clearly was not enough for her. As I worked on some photos on the computer, she came over, pressed her head against my chest and began to tell me her tale of woe.
Flattery: I was born, a poor black child…
Me: You stole that line from Steve Martin.
Flattery: Stealing is such a strong word.
Me: Hmm… Well, what is your grievance. Clearly, there is something on your mind.
Flattery: I’m so glad you brought it up! I do have a grievance.
Me: Does this have something to do with the couch situation.
Flattery: It’s like you read my mind!
Me: Well, he’s too big for me to push him off the couch, and Bunny isn’t falling for the cookie jar trick. I’m also not giving you another treat.
Flattery: That’s unfair, since I have a grievance and all.
Me: Life is unfair sometimes.
Flattery: But sometimes, you can make it more equitable, right?
Me: What do you mean?
Flattery: Well, of course Bunny won’t get up if you rattle the cookie jar, but I bet Dad would.
Me: I don’t think Milkbones are his thing…
Flattery: Help me, Obi Wan! You’re my only hope!
Me: You and your movie lines. I might have an idea.
Flattery: Well, let’s hear it.
Me: It would be sort of like what happened to you. Let’s try it and see.
And so, I took pity on the poor little waif and went to the kitchen. I did not rattle the cookie jar, however. I opened a special box of chocolates that a friend brought us all the way from Portland. The chocolate from this place is fantastic, and Mr. Taleteller had been hounding me to open the box. I have resisted, because I know that once the box is open, the man can’t help himself. He will eat every piece of candy he can get his hands on. It’s truly one of the few things we’ve ever had a big argument about. I did what every good pet parent would do, though, and I opened the box in the kitchen. I didn’t even have the wrapper off completely before he he was in there, drooling almost as much as Flattery had been.
There was a brief consultation with the candy map in the box as we chose which piece of chocolate we each wanted to eat. I can’t lie to you, the chocolate was even better than we remembered. As he put the chocolate in his mouth, Mr. Taleteller turned and lo and behold, there was Flattery all curled up on the couch, eyes closed as if she were off in Dreamland, the blanket tucked up around her body.
At that point, I admit it, I had a good laugh. My husband did, too. What else can you? Everybody got a little trick or treat out of the deal, but I think Flattery was the one who came out smelling like a rose.