The Mystery of Burt’s Bees

by Houndstooth on

Burt's BeesI like Burt’s Bees.  For those who don’t know what it is, it’s a lip balm that helps to protect your lips from becoming dry, which is particularly nice during the winter months.  I actually use it year-round, and I am particularly happy that they have a new line that has tint added in for a lip gloss effect.  Before anybody starts to wonder, this post is not sponsored by Burt’s Bees, nor do I have any affiliation with them, which is unfortunate for me.

I’ve been using Burt’s Bees for several years.  My first hint that it might have some sort of mystical dog hypnotizing powers was when Blueberry started hopping up on the bed every night and sniffing my lips until her tail nearly wagged off and her head began wobbling so hard I was afraid she’d go cross-eyed.  Something about it just seemed to override any rational thought processes she was having and reduced her to a quivering mass of excitement.  I usually had to back away and hide behind the blanket to avoid having dog snot art all over my lips every night.  It was a little disconcerting to be the object of that much fascination, truth be told.

About a month ago, Bunny and Morgan were hanging out together on our bed one afternoon.  This is not unusual.  However, on that particular day, I returned to the room to find that my tube of Burt’s Bees was not on the nightstand.  I soon found the chewed up tube hidden under the covers.  The cap was never located.  I had a top suspect, but no proof, so I made the “I’m watching you” motion and went to throw the tube, which was completely devoid of the actual product, into the garbage can.  I grumbled about it to Mr. Taleteller, who went out and bought me another tube, probably just so he wouldn’t have to hear me complaining about it.

I'm watching you!Tuesday morning, I came out of the bathroom to find Morgan and Bunny lounging on the bed again.  Sure enough, the tube of Burt’s Bees had been purloined and Morgan didn’t even look shame-faced as I caught her chewing on the new tube.  I shouted something like “Noooo” as I went to retrieve it, which brought Mr. Taleteller into the room to investigate what was going on.

Me:  Morgan!  Not again!

Morgan:  Good mooooooorning!  What?

Me:  You chewed up my tube of Burt’s Bees — again!

Mr. Taleteller:  Maybe she wanted to have soft lips, too!

Me:  That’s not funny.  Don’t quit your day job for comedy.

Morgan:  Here!  Let me kiss you and show you how soft my lips are now!

Into the Looking GlassAt this point she launched herself off the bed and twined around my legs, eyeing my face in a way that I wasn’t sure I was comfortable with.  I turned and went to throw away the newest tube of lip balm and Morgan was hot on my heels.  When I turned around in the bathroom, sure enough, my lips touched dog lips and then she proceeded to wash my face with her tongue.  I wish I could say that this was the first time that had happened to me, but sadly, I cannot.  Her furry tail was wagging like mad.  Apparently, the smell of Burt’s Bees on her own lips turned her into some kind of kissing bandit.

It all leaves me wondering what exactly they’re putting in that stuff.  If I could figure out what the magical concoction was, I think I could get dogs everywhere to jump through hoops and perform all sorts of other tricks, too.  Now I need to find a new place to stash my Burt’s Bees as well as figure out what I can do to convince Morgan to respect a few personal boundaries.  I guess I should count myself lucky that she finds it attractive instead of feeling inspired to bite my lips off.

Is there anything your dogs find simply irresistible?

Pet Blogger HopWe’re participating in this Saturday’s Pet Blog Hop, hosted by Life With DogsTwo Little Cavaliers and Confessions of the Plume.  If you’d like to participate, please follow the rules and follow your three hosts, add your blog to the Linky and copy and paste the html code into your html editor.  Thanks again to our hosts for putting on the hop!

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  • Jed & Abby in MerryLand, USA

    Maybe it’s the particular flavor of Bert’s Bees that is so attractive to you? Mama also uses it, but it does not interest us. What we do love to lick is mama’s body lotion after she showers: Eucerin. It’s yummy. Mama’s bedside table has drawers to keep stuff safe; Abby absolutely can not be trusted to leave stuff alone if it’s left on top of a table, and Jed isn’t overly reliable either. Out of sight, out of reach.

    Jed & Abby

  • Jed & Abby in MerryLand, USA

    Hmmm.. we just left a comment [in which we misspelled Burt of Burt’s Bees], but it disappeared when we hit ‘post comment’ so we don’t know what happened to it. Did you find it?

    Jed & Abby

  • Ah, Burt’s Bees! We love us some Burt around here, too. For some reason I am near pathological about buying more of the stuff whenever I have the opportunity. Lip balm, lotions, salves, and cuticle creams, we’ve got it all, and yet remain seemingly compelled to buy more. It’s a sickness! (Fortunately the dogs and cats don’t share in this pathology – otherwise it could get really expensive!)

  • Lindy MacDuff

    Your girls just want to be like their mom! 😉

    I had to laugh, though, when you said, “When I turned around in the bathroom, sure enough, my lips touched dog lips and then she proceeded to wash my face with her tongue.” It made me think of the Peanuts character, Lucy Van Pelt, when Snoopy kissed her – “Baugh! My lips touched dog lips! Baugh! Agh! Poisoned dog lips! Baugh! Agh!”

  • Sue

    Really does make you wonder what is in it……

  • I wonder what’s in it?! It must be something if all three girls are fascinated by it. I’ll have to look at the comments later on today and see if anyone knows the answer.

  • Never tried it, but perhaps I’ll have to pick up a tube. What do the boys find irresistible? Peanut butter!!! If you are talking things not normally considered edible, and ignore the obvious of Lacrosse Balls, then you’re left with socks and underwear.

  • Well I’ve never heard of Burts Bees but I think I’d like some now. I tell you what really does it for me; Sanex deodorant! One spray & I go all unnecessary and start rolling around like a cat! Talking of cats, KC goes completely nuts when Mums have been using bleach in the bathroom. Hehe! Deccy x

  • sara, oreo & chewy

    LOL. Gee, I thought I was the only one!

    Misty ate a whole tube of lip balm once. Of course she ate the one I had JUST bought.

    Chewy goes crazy licking lotion, and all my dogs have loved deoderant.

  • Heeheee – reminds me of little girls playing with their mom’s lipstick. Beckett is infatuated with wet towels after I shower, but his favorite is always the towel I use on my hair. He is usually good about waiting until I’m done with it, but he does get impatient sometimes. He rolls around on the floor rubbing himself all over with it — I guess he likes the smell of the shampoo.

  • You think you have challenges know what till Kuster joins the family. Your stories just always make me smile. Sniffs, The HoundDogs

  • I used to use Burt’s Bees but switched to ‘Chicken Poop’. Smells of avocado. Haven’t been attacked since 🙂

  • Sam

    Chapstick has the same effect on Monty!


  • If you really want to drive them crazy, order the grab bag that’s on sale right now. You will get lots of products for $25. It’s a great way to try their products. Do a google search for coupons and you will probably find a $5 off coupon if you spend $25. My BFF and I order their grab bags every year.

  • dragontearz

    Obie goes nuts for pizza bones-stares and drools until he gets his required portion..never tried Burts Bees, so it might be experiment time & see how he reacts!

  • KB

    I love Burt’s Bees lip balm too! It’s always on my nightstand. None of my dogs have ever expressed interest in my face after I use it or in the tube on my nightstand. And, you know my dogs, the mushroom hounds, so I am not going to suggest that they read your post or try a tube!!!!

    BTW, I recently tried a Burt’s Bees hair product – and I hated it. I was so surprised…

  • Oh, yes, Sage agrees with Jed & Abby–Eucerin is the ticket for a happy lick at our house. She can smell it 2 rooms away!

  • Ihatetoast

    I’d eat BB balm, too.

    This reminds me of my friend’s childhood pet that ate crayons. There were colorful nuggets in the poos.

  • Schotzy

    We love Burts Bees Bug spray. It keeps the bugs away, makes your skin soft, doesn’t contain any scary chemicals, and we smell like Lemon Pledge dusting spray.
    Our cat is insane about tobacco. We don’t smoke, and don’t let anyone smoke in our house, and Kitt has made sure no-one forgets it. She fished a pack of cigarettes out of a friends coat pocket, shredded it, and spread it all over the carpet.

  • I, too, am a huuuuge fan of Burt’s Bees! Maybe you should develop a canine line for Burt and make a gazillion dollars selling the recipe to him.

    OMD!!! Stumpy and I are seriously overwhelmed by all the comments and positive responses to Willie’s rescue. We’re working our way through your blogs and emails to thanks you individually.

    I just want you to know that Stumpy and I were merely pawns in this rescue. The real thanks goes to Mayzie’s Grampa J who directed Willie’s rescue, The Briard network who ran to the rescue and to the Angel Lady who stepped up to the plate.

    I know each and every one of us do whatever we can to support the animals, the rescues and each other in our quest to make the world a better place. Each little miracle is the direct result of like minded people doing what they can do.

    Happy, Waggin’ Tails, FUREVER!
    Stumpy and me

  • Sometimes when I’m sick, I’ll put Vasoline on my lips or around my nose, and I’ve noticed it seems to fascinate the dogs for some reason. Also, Zoe once chewed on a tube of Gold Bond Foot Cream. (It’s amazing stuff if you’ve never tried it.) Could there be a similarity?? Sorry that the dogs ate your Burt’s Bees. At least it’s easy to replace, and hide. 🙂

  • That is so funny! I think I might just have to buy some Burts Bees and see what kind of reaction I get. My boys don’t have any fascinations like that, but I did come home to an open bag of pistachios last night and there were definitely some missing. 🙂

  • Rooo rooo any lip balm tastes good in my book – its always a good excuse for some close up puppy kisses!
    I love bananas more than anything – maybe I’m part monkey? *waggy tail*

    Puppy kisses from

    PS. Would be great to see you in our Monday Mischief bloghop

  • Ya gotta love Burts bees!

  • Frankie Furter

    I remember the FURST Bert’s Bees incident. Now wouldn’t you think… if the peeps don’t want us to have GOOOOOOOD stuffs… they would put them where you need THUMBS to get to them??? I mean REALLY!!! WHAT do these crazy two leggers do fur BRAINS??? My mom just got over being upset with Ernie and ME… fur a little… personal shopping incident also. SHEEESH! I think that THEY are ALL STINGY and Well… just MEAN. What do YOU think?

  • Secret ingredient must also be in Chap Stick. I found a very chewed up tube and parts in Mack’s bed. Not on top, but under the cushion……

    We can only think that one of the kitties knocked it off my desk and Mack took it from there. And when one of my sons was 2, I could give him a tube of Chap Stick while he was in his car seat and it would keep him quiet for at least 30 minutes! (He is now 29 and says this never happened, he he he.)

    Minnie and Mack both pride themselves on soft lips I guess.

    Hu-mom to Minnie and Mack

  • Have you ever actually finished a tube? I always seem to lose a tube before finishing it.

  • Burt’s Bees is awesome. Intrestingly our dogs son’t react like yours do. I have been dying to try out their gloss/lip balm. Now I know I have too! I want to see if Ruthie will react to it!

  • hahahaha
    I just noticed this morning that Darwin does the same thing when I put on my Burts Bees. She comes right up in my face and sniffs sniffs sniffs. ahhaah

  • That’s so funny! I’ve got to get some Burts Bees and try it 🙂

    Brandon’s Raiser

  • We love Bert’s Bees products. We use all of it! Wyatt really wants to lick the carrot lotion off my legs.
    If your legs smell like carrots…..BOL

    Wyatt’s mom

  • Well, I definitely haven’t heard of that one!! Too funny! Although all of our dogs lick try to lick our hands like crazy when we put lotion on. They just want to lick it clean. No idea why it taste so good or drives them crazy, but it does.

    Thanks for your comment on my husband and Brut. We really appreciate it. Honestly. And we are going to strive a little harder at making sure Brut gets that special time before everyone else. I was afraid some might come down hard on my husband for being the “big kid” he is with dogs or that they would suggest a severe change they thought he would have to make to help with our problems. So I just want to thank you, thank you, thank you for your suggestion. What may seem like a simple thought will go a long way. 🙂 Plus my husband always reads all the comments as well. 🙂

  • Snicker. Let’s look at the big picture here. You can have head butt in the tail pipe or lip lock. Morgan sure knows how to show devotion and love.

  • Girls do know how to make themselves look pretty and your girls learn it well too!

    I’m always careful with my creams and lotions and put them up high. Eva is small and short but I’m glad she doesn’t know she is capable of jumping up onto those chests and tables : )

  • You’re lucky Burt’s Bee’s is nearly colorless. I’ll never forget the panic I felt at discovering blood in Agatha’s poop–until I discovered the half eaten tube of red lipstick on the floor. 🙂

  • Well Kodee no, but Becky!! Oh dear; lip gloss, lotion, dish detergent, pledge… ANY SMELL MUST BE INVESTIGATED TO BE SURE IT’S NOT FOOD 🙂 The girl has sniffability.

  • Uh Oh Morgan,

    Sounds like you got busted and I think it’s gonna be even harder for you to get hold of that lip balm next time – worth it though, I’m guessing?!

    Glad to see you’re a Mischief Maker buddy,

    Thanks for joining in our Monday Mischief Blog Hop – you gotta love Mischief, right? Tee Hee

    Have fun,

    Your pal Snoopy 🙂

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  • Jen

    I know this is a week old, but I wanted to let you know that I just had my very own Burt’s Beeds near miss. I left a tube of the Medicated + Clove Oil on the coffee table, where it was there all day yesterday and today, mind you. I was upstairs sorting clothes, and Elka was not upstairs. On a hunch, I whistled for her, and she came up and clearly had something in her mouth. I said “Drop it” and she dropped the capless tube on the floor. I said “Good girl!” As I was also thinking “Aw, shoot” [well, not really, but family safe!] and ran downstairs. The cap was on the couch, having just been squeezed off.

    What is it about Burt’s Bees??

  • I’m a Burt’s Bees fan. When the sun is out I use a lip balm with sunscreen but now that it’s dark and stormy all the time, I’ll be pulling out the Burt’s again. I’ll have to do a sniff test with Mason and see if he likes it!

    -Chandra at Daley’s Dog Years