Every year, Bunny types the dogs’ letters to Santa for them before mailing them off, and I always enjoy sharing them here on the blog to give people a smile amidst the hustle and bustle of the holidays. Today’s letter is from Flattery.
First of all, I’m just going to address the elephant in the room. I’ve heard rumors that you aren’t real. To be honest, I’m not sure how I feel about that. Part of me would be disappointed, but the other part would be a little relieved. I have my suspicions. I just don’t think it’s possible that one human can watch everyone all of the time. There’s no way that you know everything that each of us does, not to mention overseeing all that toy production. It just seems like a lot for one person to do.
Bunny, Morgan and Küster all tell me I should be good so that I will get presents from you and be on the Nice List. I’ll be honest, that seems like a scam to me, too. I mean, really, who decides what is naughty and who is nice? It seems like an awful lot of mandatory good behavior for one day of presents. It seems to me like having fun 364 days of the year and then missing out on a few presents from someone who may or may not be real is a an equation that has an obvious answer.
364>1 is all I’m saying.
I’ll be honest, though, I really do hope that you’re real. It’s not because I want you to bring me presents. I already got the best present when I found my family a few years ago. There’s nothing I really want or need that’s too important. There are still lots of souls out there who need to find their homes, though. Some of them are Greyhounds like me, along with other dogs, cats and even humans. If I’ve earned any kind of present this year, I hope that you’ll give it to some Greyhound who’s waiting in the adoption kennel and help them find a home of their own. That’s what would make me truly happy.
All the things you’ve heard about me are probably true, and there are some other things that you haven’t heard about, as well. I own it all. Someday, there will probably be a book about my exploits, or I might write a how to guide. It seems a waste to keep all this valuable information to myself, if you know what I mean. I’m not worried about a little coal, though, because I have lived life to the fullest every day, and I go to sleep at night a content and happy dog. My two favorite people in the world love me and give me all that I could want, with the exception of Dad being a little slow with breakfast some mornings. I am the luckiest dog in the world and I had fun earning all that coal.