This week we’ve been sharing the dogs’ letters to Santa, as typed by Bunny. The last one is Bunny’s own letter to Santa.
I feel like we’re old friends at this point. I’ve written to you most of my life as well as visiting you on several occasions to ask you to keep Flattery off the dreaded Naughty List. After all this time, I feel like I can speak candidly with you and I hope that’s okay.
Usually, I ask you for things for my pack. I do hope that Morgan gets her Honky Pig, and Küster gets his Wubba. Flattery won’t admit it, but she’s really hoping you leave her some treats in her stocking, too. I’d like for my humans to win the lottery and stay home to spend time with us. Mostly, I just want them all to be happy. I hope you can see that underneath all her naughtiness, Flattery has a good heart.
What I really want to talk to you about this year, though, is the reindeer situation. I know you think they’re the best for pulling you around the world, but I’m telling you that Greyhounds are really the way to go. We are by far faster than reindeer and we are highly motivated by our naptime schedules. You can rest assured that we will get you done ahead of time because we don’t like to miss our regularly scheduled naps. The reindeer have had their day, now it’s time for a new era. Plus, you know those reindeer aren’t going to look nearly as snazzy in their red coats as we Greyhounds will. It will improve your image a lot. I really think you should consider it. I mention this because I’m not getting any younger and it’s my dream to pull the sleigh just once in my life before I’m too old to do the job.
I hope you’re not offended, but I assure you I have your best interests at heart, along with those of the rest of the world. I’m at a stage in my life when I care less about things and more about experiences. If I could take my human along for the journey, I would, but I understand how these things need to be kept on the down low. Just know that if you make my dream come true, I’ll be the happiest Greyhound in the world.
P.S. I’ve been taking lessons from Roxie, and I have the flying thing down!