It’s Getting Nippley In Here…

by Houndstooth on

One of the things I was worried about when we brought Kuster home was how Morgan would handle him.  I am happy to say that she’s exceeded our expectations by far.  She’s been a wonderful puppy nanny.   Kuster seemed to take to her right away, too.

Sunday afternoon, Morgan was laying on the floor next to Mr. Taleteller’s chair, being the ever-attentive Shepherd.  If the puppy squeaked, she investigated.   If Mr. Taleteller got up, she followed.  Nothing was getting past her.  She’d had a busy morning of supervising, and she’d just laid down to relax.  That’s when Kuster decided to see if the milk bar was open.  Morgan leaped up, looking shocked and confused.  Mr. Taleteller laughed so hard that he nearly fell out of his chair.  Seriously, I thought I might have to get him some Depends.

Sharing Shepherd SecretsIn an attempt to maintain some dignity, Morgan walked away and pretended that nothing was wrong, although she did cast suspicious looks at Kuster anytime he wandered over her way for the rest of the evening.  I give her a lot of credit for not hurting him or correcting him harshly.  Part of it might have been the shock of the entire situation, but she’s been very good with him all week, so I think a lot of it was that she does have a rather gentle nature.

Imagine my amusement Thursday night when Mr. Taleteller was playing in the floor with his fuzzy little shark.  He’d gotten after Morgan because when he starts playing with Kuster, she is constantly in the midst of it, stealing Kuster’s toys and trying to get more of my husband’s attention.  She can get a little overbearing during playtime, and usually this results in a brief time out in the crate.  Thursday night, the play session had been going for a while, and Mr. Taleteller was getting tired.  Kuster was not.

This Is the Face of InnocenceOne of Kuster’s favorite moves is to give you a heart-melting and adoring gaze as he begs you to pick him up.  When you succumb to this cuteness, he will then try to play bitey face with you, usually leaving you with a pierced lip.  However, he’s always adding to his repertoire.  Thursday night, he had a stroke of genius and decided that if Mr. Taleteller wouldn’t pick him up or keep playing, then he’d just try something special.  Mr. Taleteller ha drifted off a little after a rousing play session before Kuster  made his move.

Go Forth, Young ShepherdThe scream that erupted out of my husband’s mouth is something that defies description.  Wild animals don’t even make that kind of noise when being attacked by a lion.  I think I saw tears escape his eyes, but I was laughing so hard that my own vision became blurry.  To be honest, I probably would have fallen off the couch in my fit of hysteria if Bunny and Blueberry (still holding strong to the Occupy the Couch movement) weren’t wedged up against me holding me in place.

Mr. Taleteller:  Oh God!  Son of a nutcracker!  He bit my nipple!

Me: *incoherent laughing*

Morgan:  Oh gee, that’s too bad!

Kuster:  I knew you weren’t sleeping!  Let’s play!

Mr. Taleteller:  Keep your teeth off my man teat!

Me:  *still guffawing*  Did you just say teat?

Mr. Taleteller:  He just clamped on!

Bunny:  Serves you right for bringing the little savage here.

Blueberry:  You’ve totally brought it upon yourself!

Morgan:  I guess it’s only funny if it’s someone else’s nipple, eh?

Kuster:  Are you really going to sit there crying?  Let’s play!

Friends of the internet, I am not sure how I survived the whole incident without suffocating on my own laughter.  I can’t begin to tell you how funny it is to see karma come back to bite someone.  One thing I know for sure is that this weekend I’ll be shopping for one of those medieval bras with armor plated cups before karma comes to get me.

Just Exercising My Teeth

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  • That has got to be the funniest story ever. I read it to Karen and she and I just sat here and howled.

    Oh, it’s gonna be fun watching your puppy grow.

  • I don’t know how you lived to tell that tale. I wasn’t even there and I’m dying of laughter.

  • That is so funny!
    I have two cockatiels, that come to my shoulder. When they want to change places, they use their beak, and hold to whatever is available, including teats. Yes, they don’t mean to, but it hurts!

  • Now that is hilarious. You two have great senses of humor I just wish I’d been there.

  • Sue

    LOL OMG!!! I haven’tlaughed so muych for ages 🙂 Must admit I was begining to think Kuster had found something else to grab hold of on your hubby;)

  • In the interests of keeping the female section of your followers alive and not dying from laughter can I suggest you buy Mr T a ‘cricketers box’? It’s a form of protection for the um, gonads, of males who are batting when playing cricket. A cricket ball is very hard and travels very quickly and can hurt. If Kuster happened to strike in an even more tender place I doubt I could survive another blog post like this one:)

  • Just brilliant!! puppy love in its most cruel form. I’m with Bunny and Blueberry on this one……Definitely Karma.

    I think you should see if Madonna is selling any of her old stage costumes on Ebay. They seemed to have a lot of conical protection for the crucial area.

    Love, Winnie

  • LOL! Oh that is priceless!!! Too bad you didn’t have a camera rolling! Perhaps he needs to get a full set of Lacrosse Pads. That should keep his important bits covered. 🙂

  • Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, you’ve got all of us going here as well! Kuster is a real ragamuffin! I have to share this one!

  • sara, oreo and chewy

    LOL! Love it.

    Kuster says to Mr. Taleteller, “Are you my mother?”

  • That last shot of Ye Demon Dog was just TOOOOO khute 😉

    PeeEssWoo: We might have heard Mr Taleteller ovFUR Kuster’s ‘sounds’ – just sayin’

  • LOL! He fits right in around there! Kuster must have been reading the blog a couple weeks ago and heard about when all the girls decided to pick on Mr. Taleteller. He couldn’t possibly miss out on any of that fun!

  • It’s always good to start your day with laughter, THANKS for that!! 😀

  • Mango

    The little devil… just looking for some food. Why not? Dexter made the mistake of seeing if Mango’s equipment was actually a milk bar…. only once. Yikes! Now I have heard that there are contraptions that man persons can buy to simulate breast feeding for their human pups. Perhaps Mr. Taleteller could look into investing in one of those.

    Mango Momma

  • Hahahaha, that’s a hilarious start to my morning. Thanks for that. And the big puppy eyes, I have no idea how you resist them.

  • Thanks for sharing! Morgan is being a good big sister!

  • Thanks, I needed that!

  • That’s one smart puppy that knows how to get what he wants. One way or another.

  • Frankie Furter

    Here is what you need… Hot melt glue gun, Two thimbles. Instant Turkish Nipple Armor.

  • So Funny! Especially since just 12 hours ago I was holding Scooter in my lap and saying to my husband, “I just know he’s going to bite me on the boob and when he does it’s going to hurt.” So far, I’ve been lucky.

    BTW, the yelp Mr. Taleteller let out was probably the best way to teach Kuster to be careful with his teeth. That’s how the dogs do it. 🙂

  • OMD, I had to laugh at this, even though it probably wasn’t quite a laughable to Mr. Taleteller when it happened!! It’ll be fun watching Kuster grow up–puppies can be such fun.

  • KB

    I bet that you can hear me laughing from a thousand miles away! “The face of innocence” and that last photo are absolutely heart-melting. I can’t believe that little guy would try anything so crazy!

    I wonder if dog toy makers have created something for young puppies to take the place of a human’s teats!!!! Still giggling…

  • Jen

    Ah, so SAR puppy is a little drive-y? Mr. Taleteller should be happy about that, right? Right? 😉

    Elka has never (that anybody else has informed me) bitten a *ahem* sensitive area, but she’s stomped a number of them, unrepentantly. We had a few dicey times there, when she was little.

  • What a silly little boy Kuster is!!!

  • LOL, Hilarious! The last picture is perfect. He’s going to be a great boy.

  • I am a firm believer dog breeds know their own so I am not totally surprised Morgan is being tolerant. Little feet pattering at your house for Christmas morning – how exciting!!

  • Kudoos to Kuster the Nipple King!! Smart boy you’ve got there. I love it! Dad better think twice next time Karma and Kuster are around!!

    Armor plated cups? Good idea!! 🙂

  • Shine Jake

    Ha ha ha ha! At least he got to keep his nipple, I think that’s the most important thing.

  • Ha ha ha. We’re still laughing. Thanks for entertaining us with Kuster’s adventure.

    Drools and licks,
    Minnie and Mack

  • When I have litters of puppies here, I love the look of my dog’s face when a pup tests if milk comes out of his willy. The shock on his face as he suddenly leaps up – priceless! Then puppies chase him, convinced that he is witholding milk bar from them – for about 2 seconds until their puppy brains expire and find something else to do.

  • Pip

    Bawhahahahahhahaha …..oh, that’s funny ….bawhahahahha. I would have seriously fallen off the couch laughing, if only I had a couch to fall off of …bawhahahaha! Those pictures of Morgan and Kuster together are absolutely adorable!

    Your pal, Pip

    P.S.: Thanks so much for standing (or should I say sitting) with me, Bunny and Blueberry

  • Sounds like Kuster is trying to re-fight the Battle of Little Bighorn, with about as much success as his namesake. 😉

  • Benny & Lily

    Morgan you have your paws full, BOL
    Benny & Lily

  • BOL!!! Good job not laughing yourself off of the couch!!

  • jet

    oh dear, puppies, eh!

  • Hey, can you please send a few of those Depends here for the Momster? She has just about flooded the couch:0

    BOL – too, too funny.

    Woos ~ Phantom, Thunder, Ciara, and Lightning

  • This post is hilarious!!! =o)

    Kuster is the devil in disguise! =)
    He has such an angelic and sweet face! =)

  • You’re a fantastic storyteller! I just can’t stop laughing and I think my vision is getting blurry too. I”m still laughing!!!

  • poor Mr Taleteller! I guess Kuster thought he was a milk bar too. [it took me a while to get that when i first read it. duh huh.]

    so is mr Taleteller’s blog going to get more airtime now there are TWO shepherds to write about?

  • angus

    Way to go Kuster !

  • Could have been worse…. wait til he looses his puppy teeth. hehe! Deccy x

  • LOL, it definitely could have been worse. Morgan may stress out taking care of the greys, the people and Kuster. LOL

  • LOL! Yet soooo innocent looking!

  • That is absolutely hilarious!

  • Larry Greyhound

    Kuster gets the point! BOL!

  • jcp

    Too funny! … but I’d be careful in your mirth Mrs TaleTeller… You never know who may be next!

  • Oh my lord – I’m hysterical here! First Morgan giving him a crotch shot or a wet nose…now Kuster gets his nipple…

    Your husband will have a few scars before this is over…

  • LOL, that’s one way of getting someone’s attention!

  • omg hilarious!!!!! Kuster is too cute for words!

  • Man teat.

    I can never look any of you in the eye again, oh god. xD

  • HAHAHAHAHAH! Sorry for laughing so hard Mr Taleteller!

  • Oh my gosh- naughty puppy 🙂 I can just picture you laughing as Mr. Taleteller protects his wounded man teat!

  • BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA! Yes, you need to get one of those medieval bras riteawayquick!! My goodness, he’s going to be a handful, isn’t he? See why I don’t do the puppy thing?

    Ranger’s bad enough – our nine-year-old puppy – but he hasn’t done THAT.



  • Oh, he’s got his eyes on your chest in that last photo!

    -Chandra at Daley’s Dog Years

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